RE: i am so afraid of starting small
believe me, jila, i understand how arduous the journey towards great achievements can be. it would be really nice if success could just show up at our doorstep one night... but unfortunately, we're humans. we're not like other animals, where everything we want is within walking/flying/swimming distance. because of the arbitrary rules our ancestors have established over the centuries, we have to work harder to get what we want than any other species on the planet. and that process takes months. years, even.
i understand feeling impatient, waiting for the end goal. but if i've learned anything as an artist, it's that you can't rush greatness or good work. if you cut corners (such as jumping right into it, skipping steps, refusing help, not taking time to learn, or god forbid, using AI), you're killing your progress. it's a vicious cycle: cut corners, things go south, keep cutting corners to mitigate the damages, things continue to go south. rinse and repeat until you crash.
the phrase "a little goes a long way" exists for a reason. you HAVE to start small in order to achieve greater things. the fear of screwing everything up is rational and relatable, but you have to understand that you're not a failure, and you're not in this alone. every baby step you take, every time you improve on what you did yesterday, is progress. never ignore the small victories. because eventually, you'll have a collection of small victories.
i wish you the best of luck, jila. :)